i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
