I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize