me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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