there's paper in my vomit.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
