you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
