Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
