Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
