Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
