just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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