hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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