i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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