Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
