Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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