I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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