I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
