my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
