To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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