Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
