I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
