One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
