I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
