She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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