So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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