I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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