i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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