Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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