Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
