Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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