Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
