i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
