So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
