i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
