It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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