Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
