That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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