Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
