No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
