I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
