y did u give ur computer a hand job?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
