My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
