so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
