we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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