i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
