hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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