And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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