so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
