Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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