I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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