pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
