some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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