Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
They took my balls.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
