It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
